The worst jokes ever

The mentioned names are always the names of the contributors.

Most of the jokes I collected are german jokes

Peter K.

was the first one to contribute english jokes

Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly?
A: A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito.

Q: How do you greet a 2-headed monster?
A: Hello, Hello

A burglar was in a dark house. When he picked up the T.V. a voice said "Jesus is watching you." He dropped the T.V. and whirled around his flashlight looking for someone without any luck. After picking up the VCR the voice said once again "Jesus is watching you." He dropped the VCR and demanded "Who said that?" A voice in the back of the room said "Me, Clarence!" He spotted a parrot with the flashlight and said "Did you say that?" Clarence acknowledged. The burglar then asked "Who would name a Parrot Clarence?" To which Clarence replied "The same guy who named the rottweiller Jesus!"

3 old men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three"? "274" was his reply. The doctor says to the second man "It's your turn. What is three times three"? "Tuesday" replys the second man. The doctor says to the third man, "OK, Your turn. What's three times three"? "Nine" says the third man. "That's great" says the doctor. "How did you get that"? "Simple" says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday".

I want more! (do I?!)

If anyone wants to send me bad jokes, just do it. But don't expect the jokes to be published at once and note that I choose which jokes to publish.

Author: Thimo Neubauer

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